superhero

Batman Socks!

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I just added these socks to my collection of superhero stuff.  Evil-doers beware!

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Spider-Man vs Deathstroke: Who Would Win?

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That’s right! It’s a battle between two genetically-modified super dudes with cool masks. One was bitten by a radioactive spider, and the other is a product of secret government experimentation.

Deathstroke’s extensive arsenal of weaponry and brutal tactics are sure the push the web-slinger to his limits in this fight, but Spidey has a few tricks of his own.  The one-eyed mercenary is gunning for your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man in today’s match up!  Here’s the scenario:

Norman Osborn is desperate.  His experimental prototypes at Oscorp are all failing due to intervention by Spider-Man and he is losing millions of dollars.  In his desperation, he hires a high-end mercenary named Deathstorke to eliminate Spider-Man. Deathstroke puts together a plan to confront his target on the rooftops of New York City.

Spider-Man is arguably the most popular character of the Marvel Universe.  And there’s a reason for that, he’s a pretty darn good comic book character.  One of the best there is and ever was, in my humble opinion. Whether it’s his sassy retorts or his rich (sometimes tragic) backstory, there is just something special about Spidey.

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Spider-Man has a laundry list of awesome powers such as super strength, speed, and agility.  But beyond the basics, he also has the ability to stick to most surfaces, web shooters that deploy strong webbing, and a ‘spider sense’ that alerts him of incoming danger.  Pretty cool, right?

There is no doubt that Spider-Man is awesome.  But his opponent in this fight is also awesome.  Of course I’m talking about Deathstroke, aka Slade Wilson.

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Weapons expert, master tactician, genetically modified super soldier…  Okay, so maybe that last one sounds more like Captain America, but my point is there are a lot of ways to describe Deathstroke.  And I think the most accurate  description is “a pure badass.”  He’s a master of combat and strategy, primarily working as a mercenary.  He’s a gun for hire who is very good at what he does.  For example, Deathstroke single-handedly took down a full team of Justice Leaguers in the popular story Identity Crisis.

But Deathstroke has never had an opportunity to go one-on-one with Spider-Man.  If he did get the chance, here’s how I think it would go down:

Spider-Man is web swinging across the New York skyline for his nightly patrol.  It’s been a quiet night for him so far, just a couple of muggers on the Lower East Side.  Then he notices an eerie orange glow in the distance. Spidey rushes towards the disturbance and is shocked to see the top two floors of the Daily Bugle engulfed in flames! He shoots a web and thrusts himself towards the blaze.  Deathstroke is poised on the top level of an office building adjacent to the Bugle. Like a moth to a flame, his prey draws nearer to the trap. Spider-Man makes one final jump towards an open window, and as he does Deathstroke hits the switch on a remote actuator. Suddenly, an explosion tears through the interior of the building.  The force of the blast throws Spider-Man backward and he finds himself falling towards the street.  

Spidey shoots a quick web and pulls himself back to the building.  A burst of energy tingles his spine and his spider sense starts going berserk. Spider-Man’s instinct leads him to dive to the right.  And as he does, a .50 caliber slug from a sniper rifle shatters the brick behind him. Spider-Man uses his web shooters to catapult himself towards the sniper. Deathstroke quickly draws his sword.  

Spider-Man jumps through the shattered glass window, and Deathstroke cuts him across his back. Spidey retaliates with a few acrobatic kicks to Deathstroke’s center mass.  Deathstroke tries to swing his weapon again, but Spider-Man webs it to the floor. This makes Deathstroke increasingly more frustrated and he swings at Spider-Man with a wild blow.  Seeing his opportunity, Spider-Man dodges the blow and hits Deathstroke with a glob of webbing. A swift kick send the incapacitated Deathstroke out the broken window, and one final web leaves him hanging by his ankles over the New York street.

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Winner: Spider-Man!

Spider-Man is faster, stronger, and more agile than Deathstroke, so he gets the win.  He also has spider sense, which would be extremely helpful for telegraphing Deathstroke’s attacks. And his web shooters are great for incapacitating his opponents!  The only way I could see Deathstroke winning is if he completely understood the opponent he was dealing with and had time to come up with a plan.  But even in that case, I think Spider-Man would have the edge.

Who do you think would win this fight?  Would Deathstroke’s tactical planning and marksmanship be enough to take down Spider-Man, or do you think he bit off more than he could chew with the wall-crawler? Leave a comment below!

 

Red Hulk vs Wonder Woman: Who Would Win?

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Both Wonder Woman and Red Hulk are powerhouse superheroes who possess incredible strength.  If these two ended up fighting, the collateral damage from the battle would be massive!  But the real question is, who would emerge as the champion?

I always get excited when I think about two super-strong dudes (and lady dudes) smashing each other!  Imagine this scenario:

Ares is becoming weak.  To fuel his power generated through conflict, he teleports a host of monsters onto the beaches of Themyscira.  Red Hulk just so happens to get caught in the teleportation and ends up in Themyscira.  As the Amazon forces battle the other monsters, Wonder Woman squares off against the hulking red creature.

The reason that I like this particular match up is both of these heroes are very stubborn in their own way.  Take Red Hulk, for example.  As Thunderbolt Ross, he was a military man obsessed with eliminating the Hulk.  Why? His hatred for the Hulk is rooted in an even deeper obsession within himself.  He is obsessed with power.

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Even after he achieves ultimate power and becomes Red Hulk, it still isn’t enough.  Jeph Loeb wrote a story arc where Red Hulk goes on a rampage and steals the power cosmic from Silver Surfer.  But I must admit, that whole series was way out of character for Red Hulk, and he was written to be overpowered.  The Loeb force Red Hulk is not the version of the character in this fight.

So he doesn’t have the power cosmic, but Red Hulk is still very powerful!  He has superhuman strength, stamina, and durability.  This guy is a Hulk, which means he is very, very strong.  Red Hulk has gone toe-to-toe with some heavy hitters like Thor, A-bomb, and Green Hulk.

That’s an impressive list. Princess Diana has her hands full with this fight.  On the other hand, she has also gone up against some heavy hitters of her own, guys like Doomsday, Ares, and even Superman.

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Wonder Woman is by far my favorite female superhero.  She has superhuman strength and speed, enhanced senses, and the ability to fly.  She can react fast enough to deflect bullets with her impenetrable bracelets, and she has an indestructible lasso that can force opponents to tell the truth.

When it comes to strength, I think Red Hulk has the upper hand.  He is probably stronger than Wonder Woman, but Diana has additional powers that could level the playing field.  One thing is for sure, it would definitely be a close fight!

Red Hulk looks around, surveying the area.  Somehow he has been transported to a forest, and there is what looks like a city in the distance.  Red Hulk uses his powerful leg muscles to jump high into the air, heading toward the city.  Suddenly, something hits him hard and he is sent hurtling back towards the ground.  Wonder Woman is hovering above him as Red Hulk comes to his senses.  She calls out a warning, offering the beast one chance to leave her home before she makes him leave.  Red Hulk responds to her offer by uprooting a massive oak tree and striking Wonder Woman with it.  She is smacked out of the air and hits the ground hard.  Red Hulk pounces on top of her and begins to strike her violently, beating a crater into the earth. Wonder Woman calls to Gaea for strength and manages to kick Red Hulk off.  She then summons all her strength and hits Red Hulk directly in the spine.  The force of the blow causes him to fall to the ground, and as he does Wonder Woman loops her lasso around his throat.  Red Hulk thrashes his limbs and struggles for breath, but Wonder Woman is able to hold the lasso firm.  Red Hulk’s oxygen is cut off and he slowly slips into unconsciousness.

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Winner:  Wonder Woman!

I said that I thought Red Hulk was stronger than Wonder Woman, but it’s not by much!  Wonder Woman is one of the strongest heroes in the entire DC Universe, and even if Red Hulk is stronger, she has enough supplemental powers and weaponry to more than make up the difference. This would be a long, tiring battle that would drain a lot from the Amazon, but I believe she would come out on top.

Who do you think would win?  Do you agree that Diana has the power needed to take down a hulk, or would Red Hulk’s strength prove to be too much for her?  Tell me your opinion in the comments section below!

Batgirl Redesign Falls Short

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DC Comics and MTV News just announced that a new creative team will take over the Batgirl title in October.  I wish that I could say I’m a fan of the new direction, but unfortunately, I have some issues with it.  Fan-favorite writers Cameron Stewart and Brenden Fletcher joined artist Babbs Tarr to create a drastic revamp of a classic character.

The goal behind this revamp is to re-invent Batgirl as a lighter, happy-go-lucky character.  Apparently, she’s set to break-off all of her previous connections in Gotham, move to a hip/trendy neighborhood, and “live the life of a young, single girl in the city.”  My inner fanboy is weeping.

But before I get to the criticism, let me just say that I am 100% in favor of the movement to get the younger female demographic interested in comics.  The joy of comics should be given to everyone, and young girls do need strong female characters that they can look up to!  What I’m not happy about, however, is one of my favorite characters in all of comic book history getting carelessly wiped-out like a discarded drawing on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Overall, I don’t like the art style but there are a few things that I do like about the new character design.  This version of Batgirl features a much more practical costume with a leather jacket as opposed to spandex and combat boots as opposed to heels.  On the other hand, I find the artwork overtly juvenile.  I’m usually not a fan of comics that are drawn to resemble doodles in a high school art student’s notebook.

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Rumor has it that Barbara will make this new costume herself out of items she finds at various vintage boutiques and thrift stores. I guess I can see the folksy, light-hearted charm, but the problem is Batgirl isn’t really a folksy, light-hearted character.  She’s gritty and dark, and that’s what makes her so interesting.  She is (or at least was) a shining example of determination and unrelenting will, with a splash of vengeance. Think about it: Barbara has seen her friends and family members die, she witnessed her own brother become a mass murderer, she has been beaten and tortured countless times, not to mention she was put through all the events of Alan Moore’s The Killing Joke…  Oh and did I forget to mention that she was paralyzed for years, but still managed to fight for good despite of her handicap!

That’s the character I want to read about, not little miss trendy’s adventures in Gotham city.

The new creative team will start their run with a fire burning all of Barbara’s previous possessions.  I think that’s an accurate symbolic representation of the new direction; all of Batgirl’s great history and character development going up in smoke.

Like I said, it’s great that the industry is recognizing the younger female demographic and writing heroes for them.  It’s just a shame that DC had to destroy one of my favorite characters in the process.

 

If Superheroes Could Play In The World Cup…

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The World Cup is a great opportunity for different nations of the world to come together and engage in multiculturalism, sportsmanship, and overall unity… unless your team gets knocked-out by Belgium with a heartbreaking loss in extra time.  That was a hard loss to take.  Still, I can’t help but wonder what might have happened if the United States had a few superheroes on the roster.

In today’s post I’m picking 11 heroes that I think would make the perfect World Cup team.  My picks are all coming from the Marvel comics universe, and they must all be United States citizens.

Team Captain:  Captain America
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Cap is an obvious choice for my team. His speed, strength, agility, and strategic skills make him an incredible athlete and competitor as is, but he also has the fiercest leadership skills out there. Can you imagine the pep-talks he would give in the locker room? With Cap as team captain, all of the players would be sure to give 110%.

Hawkeye
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Hawkeye’s marksmanship earns him a spot on this team.  He is able to use various weapons with pinpoint accuracy, so his shots on goal would be very accurate.

Spider-Man
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I think that Spider-Man is a good pick because he’s another fast and agile character.  Also, his spider-sense might allow him to know where the ball was going and if it was coming his way.

Iron Fist
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Iron Fist is a martial arts expert.  This means that he has incredible speed, balance and agility.  He’s also accustomed to using his legs for kung-fu kicks.  Kicking a soccer ball would be easy for him.

Cloak
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Teleporters have the potential to change the game.  Because Cloak can teleport, he could be anywhere on the field in a matter of seconds.

Hank Pym
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His Pym Particles let Hank Pym become Giant Man and grow to massive sizes.  This means he could cover the entire distance of the field in a matter of seconds.  It would also make him a tough defender.

Quicksilver (naturalized citizen)
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So Quicksilver wasn’t technically born in the United States, so he is not technically a US citizen.  However, I’m still including him on the list because he has naturalized US citizenship according to Marvel Wiki.  And naturalized citizens are allowed to play for their new countries in the World Cup.  Quicksilver is one of the fastest heroes in the Marvel universe, that fact alone gets him a spot on my team.

Invisible woman
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What?! A woman on the World Cup team?  Yup.  Actually, I picked a few lovely ladies for the team. Gender is not an issue when we’re talking about about superheroes with this much power, and the Invisible Woman’s power is especially useful in this case. Think about it.  She can become invisible and therefore be anywhere on the field.  She can also put up invisible force-fields for defense and turn the ball invisible.

Jean Grey
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My team needs a telepath, and Jean Grey is one of the strongest ones ever. She would be able to telepathically communicate with her teammates. She also has telekinetic abilities, which would give her great control over the ball.

Blink
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Blink is another teleporter. But hey, you can never have too many teleporters!  What attracted me to her character is she has the ability to throw teleportation portals like javelins.  So if she could hit the ball with one of these javelins, she could teleport it into the opponent’s goal.

Goalkeeper:  Mr. Fantastic
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Mr. Fantastic can contort and stretch his body to any shape. His stretchy abilities make him the perfect goalie.  Just try and get one past a man who can make his body the exact size and dimensions of the goal!

So there you have it, that’s my team! And I think the US would stand a much better chance in the World Cup with a few of these guys on the roster.  Who would you pick for your team?  Maybe someone could put together a superhero roster for a different country’s team.  Canada could be interesting…

Like always, let me know what you think in the comments section below.

 

 

 

Superhero Pancakes!

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Every good crime fighter knows that a balanced breakfast is the best way to start the day!  I had a little extra time this morning, so I figured I’d indulge my geeky urges and attempt something that I’ve been eager to try for a while now.  Superhero pancakes!

There was a problem, though.  I’m not very artistically inclined.  I wish I was, but the sad truth is that even my doodles end up lopsided.  And, as I soon found out,  pancake batter is a hard medium to work with!  Nevertheless, I’m not the type of person to let my profound lack of skills stop me from trying something that requires advanced techniques.  So I rolled up my sleeves, preheated the griddle, and got to work.

My first attempt was an Iron Man pancake.

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I guess it kind of looks like Iron Man if you squint a little… Okay, I’ll admit it, this pancake was a failure.  But I like to think of failure as “practice for success.”  And the more I practiced, the better my pancake art got! My next attempt was wolverine.

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I think this one turned out a little better. At least you can see his ears and sort of tell who it is. You get the sense that this pancake is best at what he does, but what he does isn’t very nice.

Next up, the Avengers symbol:

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Avengers Assemble!  I’m proud of this addition to my pancake portfolio, mainly because I successfully got the “A” to be darker than the rest of the pancake.  The trick is to do it in stages.  Make an “A” out of batter and let it brown up before pouring the rest of the pancake around it.

The last pancake that I made is my favorite…

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It’s a pancake Batarang!  Isn’t that cool?!  I think it’s cool.  And it was definitely easier to make once I got the hang of manipulating the pancake batter.

 

Have you ever made unique pancakes? Let’s talk about it in the comments section!

 

 

Winter Soldier vs Red Hood: Who Would Win?

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What’s better than one sidekick brought back from the dead as an antihero? Two sidekicks brought back from the dead as antiheroes! This match-up features the Winter Soldier against the Red Hood.

These two characters are somewhat similar in their skills and abilities, which means that this fight is going to be a good one! I want to thank Gamer Ramble for suggesting this match-up. If there are any specific fights you would like to see, let me know in the comments section.

Here’s the scenario for this fight:
Both Winter Soldier and Red Hood are contracted to take out an unidentified target. Little do they know that the contracts are actually a set-up for them to take out each other! They both arrive at an abandoned warehouse where a deadly confrontation ensues. Red Hood is armed with dual 9mm pistols, and Winter Soldier has an AR70 assault rifle with one clip. The first person to incapacitate his opponent wins.

Throughout comic book history, there have been several versions of both of these characters. But we’re going to stick with the most famous versions for this fight.

Bucky Barnes was Captain America’s sidekick during World War II until a tragic plane crash caused him to lose his life (or so we thought). Come to find out that Bucky had actually survived the crash and suffered torture and experimentation at the hands of Russian scientists. The experiments give Bucky amazing marksmanship and fighting skills as well as a bionic arm. His memory was erased and he came to be known as the Winter Soldier.

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Red Hood has a lot of similar skills, he is also an expert marksman and fighter. And he also began his career as a sidekick. Jason Todd was Batman’s second Robin. That is until Joker managed to kill him by beating him with a crow bar and then setting off a bomb. But have no fear, Todd was also somehow miraculously resurrected from the dead! He took up the mantel of the Red hood and began fighting crime through lethal force.

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The similarity between these characters is uncanny. They both have similar skill sets, training, experiences, and moral codes. So it ultimately comes down to who does what they do better. On the other hand, firearms are the weapons of choice for both guys, which means this match-up could potentially be ended by a lucky shot. This one would definitely be close, but here’s how I think it would play out.

The fight begins with both characters entering the warehouse. Bucky sets himself up in the rafters, taking aim with his rifle. He spots a target moving below. Jason enters through the main gate and surveys his surroundings. He senses that this might be a trap and jumps back towards cover. Just as he does, a round from Bucky’s assault rifle screams through the air and shatters a wooden crate. Jason peeks out long enough to lay down some suppressing fire. Surprised that his target has weaponry, Bucky vaults down from the rafters and switches his weapon to automatic fire. He begins spraying rounds in Jason’s direction. Jason fires a few shots of his own, two of which ricochet off of Bucky’s bionic arm. Bucky continues to shoot bursts towards Jason until his magazine runs out of ammo. When Jason hears his enemy’s magazine click empty, he seizes the opportunity and rushes towards Bucky. He attacks with a flying kick. Bucky anticipates the attack and hits him hard with his metal arm. The force of the blow causes Jason to drop his guns. Jason quickly rises two his feet and lands a few blows to Bucky’s back, but it is too late. In the brief moment Jason was on the ground, Bucky retrieved one of his 9mm pistols. He fires two rounds into Jason’s chest and one into his head.

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Winner: Winter Soldier!

Like I said, these guys are similar in terms of their skills. So it comes down to who is a better marksman and a better fighter. I think Bucky wins in both these categories. He is a trained, hardened killer with extreme marksmanship abilities. Also, I think his bionic arm gives him the edge in hand-to-hand combat.

Who do you think would win? The Soviet sleeper soldier or the once-dead sidekick with a huge grudge and anger management issues? Give me your opinion in the comments!

Daredevil vs Scarecrow: Who Would Win?

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The Man Without Fear squares off against the master of terror in this edition of Cure For Kryptonite. Can Daredevil overcome his darkest nightmares, or will Scarecrow’s fear gas prove to be too much for him?

I can already feel the tension building! A Marvel hero who is praised for his courage goes up against a DC villain with a weapon that induces fear, this should be good… Let’s start with the parameters of the fight:

(Since Scarecrow is outmatched physically, I’m giving him home-field advantage)

Daredevil is tracking Scarecrow after a recent outbreak of a new narcotic in Hell’s Kitchen. He is lead to an abandoned warehouse in Gotham City a few blocks away from Arkham Asylum. This warehouse has served as Scarecrow’s lab and base of operations for the past few weeks. Daredevil has his billy club and Scarecrow has fear gas. Daredevil’s sonar shows him that Scarecrow is inside, but as he approaches the warehouse, he trips a silent alarm alerting Scarecrow of an intruder. So both men know a fight is coming, but neither knows anything about his opponent. No calling for back-up. The first person to incapacitate his opponent wins.

For those of you that don’t know, Daredevil is a blind superhero in the Marvel universe. He suffered a terrible accident while saving a blind man from being hit by a truck. The accident caused him to lose his sight, but it also heightened his remaining senses to super-human levels. His hearing is so acute that he can use even the most minor sounds to create a sort of metal sonar. So it’s kind of like he can see, even though he can’t see.

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Daredevil’s heightened sense of touch gives him amazing balance, flexibility, and agility. He also has enhanced strength and a healing factor. And to top it all off, he’s a martial arts expert. (Side-note: Daredevil is one of my personal favorites! I mean, come on… A blind superhero? How cool is that!)

In this match-up, Daredevil is going up against a psychologist who fell off the deep end. Dr. Jonathan Crane was known as a brilliant psychologist before becoming a super villain. As Scarecrow, he uses a wide variety of psychotic drugs and psychological tactics to exploit the fears and weaknesses of his adversaries.

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Scarecrow is also an expert chemist. He was able to develop and manufacture an entire arsenal of fear toxins by himself. But other than that, Scarecrow doesn’t really have any outstanding powers or abilities. He has shown that he can hold his own in terms of hand-to-hand combat, but he is no where near in the same league as Daredevil.

That’s a brief overview of the two characters, now let’s get back to the fight.

Our battle begins with Daredevil entering the warehouse through a broken window. He is expecting to be undetected, but to his surprise, Scarecrow charges at him, wielding a syringe filled with some sort of liquid. Daredevil dodges the attack with an acrobatic flip through the air. Turning on his heels, Daredevil tosses his billy club and hits Scarecrow directly in the throat. Scarecrow collapses to the floor. Daredevil moves closer towards the body of his apparently unconscious foe, but just as does, Scarecrow springs up and sprays a triple dose of fear gas directly in Daredevil’s face. Daredevil becomes incredibly disoriented and stumbles backward, his sonar sense begins to fade. While Daredevil is struggling to regain his composure, Scarecrow injects him with the syringe full of fear toxin. Daredevil jerks backward, the overdose of fear inducing drugs floods his system and overloads his enhanced senses. He writhes on the ground in agony, and his mind slips slowly into madness.

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Winner: Scarecrow

Ultimately the outcome of this fight comes down to what kind of effect Scarecrow’s fear gas would have on Daredevil.  I could be wrong about this, but I think that Daredevil’s heightened senses (particularly his enhanced sense of smell) make him more vulnerable to toxins and inhalants. That means the fear gas would be extra effective against Daredevil, so I’m giving my vote to Scarecrow.  In a hand-to-hand combat only fight, Daredevil would destroy Scarecrow. But I see the fear gas as a big enough wild card to turn the tables.

Who do you think would win this fight? Tell me your opinion in the comments section below!

 

 

Batman vs. Captain America: Who Would Win?

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Who would win in a fight between Batman and Captain America? This is a topic that  has been debated by comic book fans for decades, with opinions evenly torn between the two sides. Some suggest that the match would result in a draw, but for Cure For Kryptonite stalemate is not an option. One man must come out on top. The question is, who will it be?

Both of these guys have their own advantages and disadvantages, but before going into detail about the characters, I want to set up the parameters of the fight:

Cap and Batman meet each other on an average city block. They are both aware that they are fighting, so there are no sucker punches right from the start. It is night time and very dark, but neither person is familiar with the city where they are fighting. Cap has his shield and Batman has a fully equip utility belt. No vehicles and no calling for back-up. The first one to incapacitate his opponent wins.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about Captain America. He’s a soldier straight out of World War II and the leader of the Avengers. This dude had some serious street cred. He also has some serious fighting skills. The super soldier serum that he was injected with back in the 40s gives him super-human abilities such as enhanced strength, speed, endurance, and agility.

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Physically speaking, Captain America is Batman’s superior. He’s stronger, faster, and able to fight longer than Batman. He also carries a shield made out of Vibranium (which is a super strong metal capable of absorbing vibrations). In the hands of Captain America, that shield is a deadly weapon. He is able to throw it with pinpoint accuracy including ricochet shots off of walls and other objects. He even used his shield to fight a shark once.

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So far things aren’t looking so good for Bats, he’s up against one tough son of Uncle Sam.

But wait… what’s this?! Batman has fought sharks too!

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Dang, Aquaman is going to be pissed…

Batman’s shark whooping abilities are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his strengths. For starters, he’s a martial arts master and stealth expert. He has mastered just about every martial art there is and he’s able to disappear while in plain sight. Captain America is a great fighter, but he is outmatched against Batman in terms of fighting skill.

Batman also carries an arsenal of weaponry. His utility belt is stocked with batarangs, freeze pellets, smoke bombs, various gasses, a grapnel, and about 100,000 other nifty little gadgets.  (I promise he doesn’t have any anti-patriotism spray, though).

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His suit itself can also be considered a valuable asset because it serves as body armor. The Batsuit helps Batman take a punch, even from someone as strong as Captain America. Plus, his cape allows him to glide.

Now let’s get back to the hypothetical confrontation!

I think that Captain America would make the first move in this fight, maybe a shield throw.  Bats would probably dodge it and Cap would move in to retrieve his shield. That would cause the two men to get closer and fight hand-to-hand. After taking a few blows, Batman would quickly realize that his opponent is stronger and faster than he is and does not tire easily. Cap would use the close encounter to gauge what fighting style Batman was using, he would determine that he’s dealing with a master.

But before Cap could try and use his strength and speed to finish the fight early, Batman would use a smoke bomb to disappear. Once he was lost in the shadows, he would hit Cap with every gadget he’s got: stun grenades, sonic disruptors, freeze pellets, batarangs, nerve gas… Cap would try to use his shield to defend, but it would be useless against a majority of the attacks (especially the gas attacks).

This barrage of weapon-based attacks would not incapacitate Captain America, but it would severely disorient him. From there, Batman would glide back in and resume hand-to-hand combat. Cap would still be a tough fight, but it would be a completely different scenario now that he was disoriented. Strikes would be exchanged by both men. Eventually, Batman would manage to land a few pressure points. This would give him the brief opportunity to hit Cap with a few electro-shock batarangs.

That would be the end of the fight. Captain America would fall to the ground incapacitated, and Batman would walk away with blood in his cowl, a few cracked ribs, and a dislocated shoulder.

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Winner: Batman! But keep in mind, you have to take my verdict with a grain of salt because the above scenario is hypothetical and entirely based on my opinion.

The reason that I think Batman would win comes down to his stealth abilities and weaponry. If this were strictly a hand-to-hand fight with no weapons or armor allowed, it would be a lot more difficult to judge. But the fact that Batman can disappear and hit Cap with a variety of attacks that a shield cannot defend against is a major game changer for me.

Also, Batman has fought and beat genetically modified adversaries in the past. A few examples that come to mind are Bane, Deathstroke, Man-Bat, and Clayface. I’m sure there are others, the point is he’s no stranger to fighting modified super people. In fact, he has held his own against a few super super people like Superman and Darkseid.

So I stand by my decision and give the edge to Batman. Who do you think would win? Let me know in the comments section!

All Things Considered

 

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Happy Father’s Day to any fathers out there, and welcome to a special Father’s Day edition of Cure For Kryptonite! In today’s post, I wanted to write about my dad’s favorite superhero: the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Thing.

If you ask the average comic book junkie who their favorite superhero is, you’ll probably get some long, drawn-out answer about how it’s impossible to judge different characters in different comic book universes. If you ask my dad, you’ll get a very different answer. How do I know? He gives the same answer to anyone who asks about his favorite superhero, and it goes something like this:

“My favorite hero has to be The Thing. He’s the reluctant hero. That which gives him his strength, also makes him ugly and alienates him from society.”

I’ve heard my dad say those words hundreds of times. And the more I think about it, the more I realize he’s right. The Thing is an interesting character with a deep personality.

In 1961, The Thing was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. He made his first comic book appearance in Fantastic Four #1 that same year. Since then, The Thing has skyrocketed in popularity. He’s had a huge impact on everything from comic books to movies and video games. In fact, a new Fantastic Four reboot movie featuring The Thing is scheduled to be released in June 2015.

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But his popularity as a character isn’t what makes The Thing special, it’s the layers to his personality that set him apart. On the one hand, we have Ben Grimm the brawler from Yancy Street with some serious power. (And when I say serious, I mean serious. Sometimes people don’t give Thing enough credit, you’ve got to remember, he’s got enough strength to stand toe-to-toe with the Hulk.)

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However, there’s also a very different side to The Thing. Deep down, underneath his rocky exterior, he has the heart of a man. Thing wants nothing more than to be accepted by a society that sees him as an outcast. He craves acceptance so much that he would gladly give all of his strength just to be seen as normal.

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The tragedy of his character is that society doesn’t accept him. People tend to treat The Thing poorly, they stare at him and call him names. But when hordes of Doombots are attacking the city, he’s still the one they turn to. And regardless of everything society has done to him, The Thing doesn’t hesitate to stand up and protect the very same people that look at him with disgust. That’s powerful stuff… even for a comic book character.

So why does The Thing continue to fight for people that sometimes hate him? Easy, he has an unbreakable spirit. We can see another example of his unrelenting will in the iconic fight with Champion. For those of you who don’t know, Champion is an omnipotent character that satisfies his lust for fighting by traveling across the universe and challenging the heroes of a planet to a boxing match.

When Champion traveled to Earth, he went up against some heavy-hitters in the Marvel universe. Namely Thor, Hulk, Colossus and a few others. He was able to defeat/disqualify all of them with ease. Then, Champion came to his final opponent: The Thing. In my humble opinion, this was and always will be one of Thing’s shining moments in comic book history.

Champion hits him hard, and Thing goes down right off the bat.

Wow, maybe that wasn’t as epic as I remember. Oh, right, here’s the epic part!

 

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He get’s back up! Do you know what happens next? Champion knocks him down again… and again, and again, and again. But each time he gets knocked back on his rocky butt, Thing gets back up. After two rounds, Thing’s jaw is broken and he’s crawling across the ring. And yet he continues to fight…

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At this point, Champion realizes that he’ll never beat The Thing without killing him. He yields the fight, remarking that he might break The Thing’s body, but he could never break his spirit.

Well, there you have it folks, a brief analysis of my dad’s favorite superhero. What do you think about The Thing? Let me know in the comments section below! Oh yeah, and one more thing….

IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!!!